i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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