is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
