That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
