This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
