Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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