i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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