Whod you bang
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
