I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
