I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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