He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We're hate flirting, damnit.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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