I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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