Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize