Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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