I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
