I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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