Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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