I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize