JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He has the fingertips of a God
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
