this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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