I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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