sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
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You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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