thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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