Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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