Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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