I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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