I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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