2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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