Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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