Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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