You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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