dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize