If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
