just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
