Midget sex pt 2 tonight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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