And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
