i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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