doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
