I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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