Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
