I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
