trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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