yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
