Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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