dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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