I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
