Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
