I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
