I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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