Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am one with the molecules
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
