it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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