I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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