My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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