I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
