what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
