Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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