Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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