Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
