if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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