So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
