it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
