You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
