i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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