Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
