Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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